Post by Kreeper X on Feb 8, 2006 23:03:14 GMT -5
Just a quick list form a website I found online:
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using niether rock, paper nor scissors.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
If Jack Bauer tells you to get out of the room because you don't want to see what he's about to do, you better stay your ass in that room because you're about to witness the most shockingly awesome thing you've ever seen.
Kim Bauer once brought her father to school for a parent/teacher conference.....and got expelled for bringing a weapon onto school grounds.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same thing.
Jack Bauer never gets pop-ups. Ever.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer has never actually had to count to three, ever.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
If a tree falls in the forest, it’s because Jack Bauer wants it down.
Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret.
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using niether rock, paper nor scissors.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
If Jack Bauer tells you to get out of the room because you don't want to see what he's about to do, you better stay your ass in that room because you're about to witness the most shockingly awesome thing you've ever seen.
Kim Bauer once brought her father to school for a parent/teacher conference.....and got expelled for bringing a weapon onto school grounds.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same thing.
Jack Bauer never gets pop-ups. Ever.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer has never actually had to count to three, ever.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
If a tree falls in the forest, it’s because Jack Bauer wants it down.
Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret.
